monkey nonsense

happy 23rd b-daiyes (“Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?” ) to jennifer ahn, psycho thumbs, and chubacca chu!! (And happy i-don’t-know-th b-daiye, vincent van gogh!)

this first year of working hasn’t really turned out the way i expected. i’m not sure what exactly i was expecting… but yea, it’s definitely not been what i thought it would be like. i (if it’s even possible) feel even less ambitious/driven than ever. it’s been harder for me to see a goal in life and harder to see how i’d even go about achieving any goals i might set. i find i end up “going with the flow” just out of laziness or indecisiveness. and when the flow seems to be going out of control in the “wrong” direction… i don’t know how to stop it

23 years now, i’ve been bumbling around aimlessly. i wish i had more ambition/passion/purpose/drive so i wouldn’t feel so lost and out of control. but it’s funny how things have always worked out. from deciding on a major (as much as i hated it)… to college choice (one of the few school that i applied to for my intended major, go figure)… grad school (deciding to apply a month before)… getting a job, God’s really taken care of everything in my life without me even realizing or doing anything to help. but i feel like such a bum, like i’m just here for the ride?

to quote zoolander, one of the best movie in the world…
“I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 30th, 2005 at 1:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.