job vs. career
so if you haven’t already figured it out… i haven’t really been enjoying work lately. i’ve gotten really depressed on how things are going with life and what i want to do with it. some people have been trying to encourage me to just suck it up and go into work. and as much as i appreciate it and i obviously need it (’cause otherwise, i’d be a fired lazy ass lying on my bed still), telling me “it’s just a job” isn’t true, it’s not just a job.
i like to think that i’m able to separate out the things that are important to me from the things that aren’t. All through college, i think i had a preeettty good balance between work and life (after some reflection and a look at my transcript, one could even argue too good of a balance). i’m generally not one to bring the stress of homework/work home with me, homework/work have little effect on my playing. compartmentalizing things works- when the things you are separating are small… but when it’s something as large as “what do i do with my life,” there’s no way to avoid it. so now that i am really stressed about work and constantly frustrated at home and at work, i want to clarify. this isn’t about “just a job.”
it’s about feeling like i have no future. it’s about having to bang my head on a laptop for 8 hours a day and realizing this is it… there is no “end of the semester” to look forward to, there is no “next semester, i’ll be rid of this class forever.” there is no end in sight. “just a job” is like when you’re in high school or in college. if it turns out to be crappy, who cares? you can always just stick it out until the end of the summer when you head back to school. if it’s an after school job/job during the school year and it sucks, there’s a feeling while you’re in school that hey, better things will come because you’re getting educated and the world is your oyster! with a career… it’s something more permanent, something like “you’re here indefinitely until you terminate the contract or we terminate you.”
the past 1.5 years, i have been thinking of work as “just a job.” it’s help me stay reasonably sane (with occasional spurts of frustration) for the past few years. but i don’t want just another job, i want a career! i want to be doing something i can see myself doing for years to come. i could easily switch roles/projects/companies and i’m sure that’d alleviate some of my stress/frustrations, but it’d only be a temporary fix.
not know what i want to do, feeling limited and stuck with the current direction of my “career,” wanting to switch to something else, but not know what to switch to, being afraid to switch even if i figure out something i might like better… that’s why i’m stressed and frustrated.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Amen sista! went through similar people telling me the same stuff before i switched to princeton.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
yes. i understand the feeling and it’s normal to be stressed out and frustrated – it’s a big step to take after you’ve invested time and money to be where you are now…so don’t worry – it’s normal to be scared about making the same mistake again..but it’s okay if you make another mistake- at the worst you’re just giving yourself more options for what to do and at the best you find something that you love..but the important thing is to investigate and try before you waste more time
January 19th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Yeah, I’ve heard the same thing too. I understand how you feel and it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. Nevermind and Actually say hi ^_^
January 19th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
i’m sorry… i have to use another AD quote, but it’s really fitting
“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.”