monkey nonsense

i am normal. most people seem to think i’m weird when really, i’m the only normal one in the room. here’s just a brief (certainly not all-inclusive) list of things that other people (claiming to be normal and accusing me of being weird) do that i, because i’m normal, do not do:

• i am not obsessed with my state. i do not bake maryland-shaped cakes (unlike a certain someone who bakes texas-shaped cakes). admittedly, if there were a maryland-shaped cake pan, i would be amused to see a cake baked from it. but that’s just because i’d like to see how the chesapeake bay would turn out.
• i am not obsessed with a sport/team, such that i drive over a hour one-way three times in one weekend just to see this sport/team (that’s SIX hours in the car!!). i don’t schedule my evenings around their games, especially if they play nearly every night!
• i do not sing (heck, even know) the lyrics to the theme song for golden girls.
• i do not break out into song randomly.
• i do not have thumbs that are freakishly strong.  i do not practice finger exercises.
• i do not have toes that can move like fingers. i use my entire foot to keep rhythm when playing an instrument… not just one toe. i do not use my toes to pick things up.
• i have no problems with my toes touching each other.  i am not OCD about separation between my toes.  i do not sleep with my fingers in between my toes so as to create separation.
• i do not have freakishly small hands. i don’t drop things because my hands cannot grasp them due to their apparent large size.
• i do not get bouts of hyperactivity, whether in the middle of the night (say at exactly 12:30) or just randomly. i am actually quite calm and even keeled.
• i do not randomly hit/jump on/tackle/hug/crowd people. i give people space.
• i do not say anything weird on IM, unlike these people.
• i do not talk like “thaaaat.”
• i do not carry chopsticks in my purse to use when eating chips.
• i do not go to the office’s bathroom to take a nap. i go to my car. how can you nap when people are doing their business all around you??

and that’s just off the top of my head. there are certainly many more.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 4th, 2006 at 11:22 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.