monkey nonsense

i’m a fan of stupid lawsuits. i think it’s amusing what people can think of to sue about… for example, suing (former) friends over starting a competing chinese school that will steal students (not rightfully your property) away which will reduce the amount of profit your non-profit chinese school makes. hrm…

there’s a lot of news going on about the $65 million Pants lawsuit… so apparently, a guy is suing the owners of a cleaner (Chung family) because he claims the pants they returned after the $10.50 alteration he dropped it off for are not his. but apparently, he’s taken on “‘the awesome responsibility’ of suing the Chungs on behalf of every resident of the District of Columbia.” i wonder if everyone in DC will be receiving their share of the money. some other of my favorite quotes from coverage of the case (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/12/AR2007061201667.html):

From the start, Pearson kept referring to himself as “we,” as if he were representing everyone in town. Bartnoff was having none of it: “Mr. Pearson, you are not a ‘we.’ You are an ‘I.’”

After questioning eight witnesses, Pearson spent two hours telling his own story, but as he came to the part about when Soo Chung finally told him she had found the missing pants, the tale of the $10.50 alteration that went awry proved to be too much.

“These are not my pants,” Pearson recalled telling Chung when she handed him a pair of gray pants with cuffs. “I have in my adult life, with one exception, never worn pants with cuffs.”

“And she said, ‘These are your pants.’ ”

Pearson paused. He struggled to breathe deeply. He could not continue. Pearson blurted a request for a break, stood up, turned around and walked out of the courtroom, tears dripping from his full and reddened eyes.

he also wants to be awarded attorney’s fees, even though he represents himself. He would like to be paid at a rate of between $390 and $425 an hour.

and from blog coverage of the case (http://blog.washingtonpost.com/rawfisher/2007/06/pants_trial_day_two_we_see_the.html?hpid=topnews):

“Your position,” Bartnoff said to Pearson this morning, “is that ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’ means they have to satisfy whatever you demand, with no limitations, absolutely unconditionally?”

“That’s correct,” Pearson replied.

“I have grave doubts about that,” said the judge.

and people’s response to the blog post:

I want to hire him as my attoney. So, if he does not satisfy me, I can get $ 54 million.

hehehehehhehehhe

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 at 4:44 pm and is filed under Amusing News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.