monkey nonsense

i avoid exercise. for very good reason.

last week, in about 3.217 minutes of playing basketball, i twisted my ankle. it wasn’t on some awesome basketball move or anything. (’cause well, i don’t know how to do any awesome basketball moves.) i was just chasing a ball from going out of bounds. so my biggest question is WHO DESIGNS THESE PARKS?! why would you have the blacktop immediately drop off into a slope?! don’t you know there are out of control people who, because they don’t know how to stop, might run off the edge of the blacktop and fall down the slope? anyways… so i twisted my ankle for the very first time in my life.

lessons i learned from this experience:

1. Exercise is bad for the health. my health on Wednesday, April 23, approximately 6:45pm – not exactly healthy, but all 4 limbs functioning perfectly. my health on Wednesday, April 23, approximately 6:50pm – down 1 limb…
2. ibuprofen is amazing! on thursday morning, i thought i was going to have to amputate my leg because it hurt so much. then ann gave me an advil. wow! so i rarely take medicine, but now i’m wondering why i don’t more often. because it was AWESOME. the instructions say that it should last 6-8 hours but like 12 hours later, i was still painfree!!!
3. doctors are useless. this was not a new lesson for me. i always suspect they were useless. but angela (who tore 2 ligaments when she sprained her ankle) scared me into going to the doctors. but as i was ON THE PHONE with the doctor, she told me not to go to a normal doctor because they were useless. too late. i already had an appointment. so the doctor x-rayed my leg to confirm that nothing was broken and then gave me a temporary cast and a prescription for more ibuprofen (isn’t that just advil?) and crutches. not useful at all.
4. crutches are impossible to find. two hours, 3 store/pharmacy visits, no crutches. there apparently is a shortage of crutches in the state of maryland. furthermore, that prescription for crutches (which i even asked the doctor about… why do i need a prescription? oh so u can get your insurance to pay for it), doesn’t even matter! because it’s an over-the-counter thing. luckily, vicky was patient enough to go to all 3 stores with me and do all the walking while i waited in the car. and then to finally find a pair of crutches for me, from her great uncle.
5. crutches are tiring! so i was late to church because i was ridiculously slow at showering and walking. so i decided to go to the english service where it’s less conspicuous to walk in late… but it’s ALL the way on the other side of the church. so i had to take a breather on some chairs on my way to the service. then, after i finished service and trash, i walked across the church again (this time, without a breather!) to get back to my car. it didn’t seem so bad. until i got home. i crashed on the sofa for a three hour nap! all from… oh 10 minutes? of walking on the crutches? i guess this would also show just how out of shape i am. but that’s because exercising is a dangerous activity!!
6. my feet turn colors when showering. so i’ve never really noticed this, until all this happened. so i was in the shower, when my leg starts to hurt. maybe it’s from standing in the same spot for too long and the ankle not being ready for all that standing… then i notice GEEZ, my foot is nearly purple in color! like redish purple, like all the blood is flowing down to it! which makes sense since i’m standing. so i kind of stand on one leg and try to prop my bad leg up on the soap holder to try to get the color to go back to normal when i notice… hrm, it’s not because of the bad ankle. my good leg is also turning a redish purple! have u guys ever noticed this?! where your feet start to turn all redish purple in the shower?

i’ve started reading this slate blog about a reporter blogging as he reads through the bible. the reporter doesn’t claim to be an expert theologian. he’s also claims to not really be an observant jew so it’s not really any expert analysis or anything. i like the way he worded his reason for trying this blog – “I want to find out what happens when an ignorant person actually reads the book on which his religion is based. I think I’m in the same position as many other lazy but faithful people”

so far, reading his blog has made me think (and actually crack up laughing a few times) about some verses that i’d never really thought too much about. for example:

• the order of creation. God creates light, but he doesn’t create the sun and moon until later on. so for the first few days, what’s the light coming from? and mixed in between all these, he’s creating plants. (note: tho when i did read the NIV version of Genesis 1, i didn’t run into the same “creeping” issue that he did. in fact, i don’t think that God creates bugs on both day 5 and day 6. i read it as in day 5 he created water and air-based animals. and in day 6, he created all land-based animals. but regardless… reading his blog actually made me re-read Genesis 1 a few times over in more detail than i ever read it before!)
• God as a parent. So there’s always that blah-blah-blah-God is like a father-blah-blah mushy symbolism i’ve always heard. that’s why the blogger’s comments on the next section really made me laugh! “The Lord—not so good at follow-through. In Chapter 2, He is clear as He can be: He commands man not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and bad: “for as soon as you eat of it, you shall die.” No wiggle room there. You shall die. But then when Eve and Adam eat the fruit of the tree a few verses later, do they die? Nope. God punishes Eve with “most severe … pangs in childbearing” and curses Adam by making the soil barren. Any parent knows you have to follow through on your threats, or your children will take advantage of you. God makes a vow He can’t keep—or if He did, He would undo all his good work. So, He settles instead for a half-hearted punishment that just encourages His children to misbehave again. Is it any surprise that we sin again? And again? And again? All the way down to the present day. You can call this “original sin,” but maybe it’s just lax parenting. This isn’t, incidentally, the mighty and distant God of Chapter 1, who shaped the universe and poured the ocean. Instead, this is an exasperated, down-to-earth deity, peevish at being forced to hunt through the Garden of Eden to find His wayward children—more like a frustrated dad who lost his kids at the mall than like God on High.”…. hahahahha. now, i guess this might not be the best picture to view God in… considering it’s saying he doesn’t keep his vow, compares him to a frustrated dad, and questions his parenting skills. but i found it pretty funny at least! later on, the blogger gives a different interpretation of God as a parent… and it’s a bit more charitable. “He’s not indulgent or lax. He’s laissez faire. His job is to push the children in the right direction, but in the end, He understands they must be free to make mistakes. When He rejects the vegan special, God chastises Cain with this advice. “Sin couches at the door; Its urge is toward you, Yet you can be its master.” This is just about the best advice you can give anyone. It is conservative idealism, compressed into a sentence: We must decide for ourselves to do right.” this is the more standard interpretation of God’s parenting skills that i think i hear all the time… but not as funny as the frustrated dad picture.
• is God a meat lover? “I never realized there was a vegetarian angle to Cain and Abel. Cain offers God the fruit of the soil as an offering, while Abel brings the choicest meat. God scorns Cain’s vegetarian platter, so Cain jealously slays his brother.” HAHAHAHAHHA. i think i like this one the best!

the blog is located at: http://www.slate.com/id/2150150/. i haven’t read enough to see whether there’s anything the blogger’s said that i disagree with yet and i’ve been enjoying the questions he’s brought up. but i, apparently, am really easily amused and laugh at most everything so i thought it was pretty interesting and funny. check it out yourself to see if it’s amusing.

it’s been awhile since i’ve blogged. so here’s a post. and a post of my favorite type – complaining!

pet peeve #19389
badly timed lights! you ever turn down a street. and it’s COMPLETELY empty. but the light you are at is red. you look ahead and all the other lights are green! it’s like a tease!!! then when ur light turns green, you floor it to try to make the next green. but u can’t. because the lights are so badly timed. you have to keep stopping every 10 feet at the next light. stop, start, vroom, vroom, herk, jerk. the WHOLE way down the street. i hate it!!!

pet peeve #19390
people who like to turn left/right from the non-left/right-most lane. what the heck were they thinking?!?!! first off buddy, you can’t make a left turn from the right lane and vice versa. yes yes, i know some times you’re lost but you can always just drive to the next intersection (thereby giving you time to merge into the proper lane to turn) and make a u-turn! second, ok… say it’s 11:58pm on April 15, your pregnant-about-to-pop wife, her pregnant-about-to-pop-best friend, 2 coolers full of organs that are being donated to recipients, and your tax returns are in the backseat so you HAVE to make that turn. at least CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT!!!

pet peeve #19391
DC metro.
IMPLODE IT! start all over again. you cannot just have a single track in each direction! if that one track were to go down (and it does ALL THE TIME), you screw over your ENTIRE system because trains start to get logjammed behind the blockage. this needs to be resolved before you expand all the way to dulles airport because it’ll only get worse when u increase ridership and the distance metro spans. and for those debating whether to go under or over in tysons corner… i personally prefer underground because i feel like going above ground is rather short-sighted. you cannot spend millions of dollars on something that won’t allow you to expand in future years. but regardless of whether it’s under or over, BUILD MORE THAN ONE FREAKING TRACK PER DIRECTION PLEASE!!!!

pet peeve #19392
stupid companies.
who reward you for, because you’re one of the few people left on the team, dealing with excessive work (how the heck do you replace 3 experienced people with 1 new person and expect anything to get done for at least a few months until the new person can get up to speed), by a raise of $57 per paycheck. that amounts to 1 tank of gas given current gas prices!

ok, so enough negativity… positives!

i got to go to SUPERtarget twice. the first time in NC. it was awesome.
then the following day, i MADE my roommate go with me to the SUPERtarget in leesburg. well worth the drive!

i got to see the popemobile! unfortunately, we had to run the last few blocks because the pope was early and we were late. i got a few shots, but a lot of people were blocking my view.

i got to see cindy and mariam in NC. it was fun. we ate lots. i DOMINATED them at bowling and monopoly. i like hanging out with friends i can beat at games

the weather has been awesome.

i really like my church’s small group. it’s been a long time since i’ve felt comfortable discussing religious junks with religious people (probably not since college). yesterday got me thinking about how much i do actually enjoy going to small group and learning from the people there.