monkey nonsense

i avoid exercise. for very good reason.

last week, in about 3.217 minutes of playing basketball, i twisted my ankle. it wasn’t on some awesome basketball move or anything. (’cause well, i don’t know how to do any awesome basketball moves.) i was just chasing a ball from going out of bounds. so my biggest question is WHO DESIGNS THESE PARKS?! why would you have the blacktop immediately drop off into a slope?! don’t you know there are out of control people who, because they don’t know how to stop, might run off the edge of the blacktop and fall down the slope? anyways… so i twisted my ankle for the very first time in my life.

lessons i learned from this experience:

1. Exercise is bad for the health. my health on Wednesday, April 23, approximately 6:45pm - not exactly healthy, but all 4 limbs functioning perfectly. my health on Wednesday, April 23, approximately 6:50pm - down 1 limb…
2. ibuprofen is amazing! on thursday morning, i thought i was going to have to amputate my leg because it hurt so much. then ann gave me an advil. wow! so i rarely take medicine, but now i’m wondering why i don’t more often. because it was AWESOME. the instructions say that it should last 6-8 hours but like 12 hours later, i was still painfree!!!
3. doctors are useless. this was not a new lesson for me. i always suspect they were useless. but angela (who tore 2 ligaments when she sprained her ankle) scared me into going to the doctors. but as i was ON THE PHONE with the doctor, she told me not to go to a normal doctor because they were useless. too late. i already had an appointment. so the doctor x-rayed my leg to confirm that nothing was broken and then gave me a temporary cast and a prescription for more ibuprofen (isn’t that just advil?) and crutches. not useful at all.
4. crutches are impossible to find. two hours, 3 store/pharmacy visits, no crutches. there apparently is a shortage of crutches in the state of maryland. furthermore, that prescription for crutches (which i even asked the doctor about… why do i need a prescription? oh so u can get your insurance to pay for it), doesn’t even matter! because it’s an over-the-counter thing. luckily, vicky was patient enough to go to all 3 stores with me and do all the walking while i waited in the car. and then to finally find a pair of crutches for me, from her great uncle.
5. crutches are tiring! so i was late to church because i was ridiculously slow at showering and walking. so i decided to go to the english service where it’s less conspicuous to walk in late… but it’s ALL the way on the other side of the church. so i had to take a breather on some chairs on my way to the service. then, after i finished service and trash, i walked across the church again (this time, without a breather!) to get back to my car. it didn’t seem so bad. until i got home. i crashed on the sofa for a three hour nap! all from… oh 10 minutes? of walking on the crutches? i guess this would also show just how out of shape i am. but that’s because exercising is a dangerous activity!!
6. my feet turn colors when showering. so i’ve never really noticed this, until all this happened. so i was in the shower, when my leg starts to hurt. maybe it’s from standing in the same spot for too long and the ankle not being ready for all that standing… then i notice GEEZ, my foot is nearly purple in color! like redish purple, like all the blood is flowing down to it! which makes sense since i’m standing. so i kind of stand on one leg and try to prop my bad leg up on the soap holder to try to get the color to go back to normal when i notice… hrm, it’s not because of the bad ankle. my good leg is also turning a redish purple! have u guys ever noticed this?! where your feet start to turn all redish purple in the shower?