Archive for the ‘When I Rule the World’ Category

Action Item #3 – 4 day work weeks, 3 day weekends

Friday, August 29th, 2008

i don’t think this needs much explanation. i think a 4 on – 3 off instead of a 3 on – 4 off because we need to still be productive somehow. but in general, i think we should have longer weekends. who’s with me!?

Action Item #2 – Set a limit to the combined IQs of married couples

Friday, July 25th, 2008

This one is a biggie. I thought about making it Action Item #1 because it is that important. But then I had a lousy commute to work recently so that too more precedent. That is not to belittle the importance of this… this one has more long-term, future impact.

Because if I ever have kids, my kids will need to compete somehow and there are way too many smart people marrying smart people. Why do you guys have to be so selfish like that? Huh? Mediocrity is the key here. By limiting the combined IQs of married couples (and hopefully marrying a uber-genius), my kids’ IQ won’t be that much lower than the average person’s. But what will mess this all up is if people start producing uber-geniuses. No uber-geniuses! (except the one that I need to marry).

It’s a simple enough plan. i just need to hurry up and take over the world because i already know too many smart people marrying each other and already the smart married people are creating smart littler people!! at first i thought about grandfathering in all the smart married people… but i’m seriously reeconsidering that now. so all you smart married people? you have the shums to blame! they ruined it for all of you guys.

Action Item #1 – Implode the DC Metro and start over again

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

I’ve created a new category called “When I Rule the World”… it’s going to have awesome posts about things I’d do when I rul the world. First on my list…

IMPLODE DC Metro and start over again

Because it cannot handle the booming DC population. It was not designed to! (or poorly designed to) With row seats, carpet, cleanliness, and not much standing room, occasional metro riders will think Metro is awesome! But it just can’t carry the rush hour rush of people. And with only a single track in each direction, there’s no way they’d ever be able to run an express train between stations. The single track also limits them whenever a track goes down. A delay on any one line can quickly escalate to a System-Wide delay! So many times my commute has been foiled by a “delay” of 1 hour sitting in a disabled train (within sight of a station!), not being able to get into the station because it’s backed up to the point that they are no longer allowing passengers to go down to the platform, fires (fires!), or doors not opening. Seriously… for an entity whose slogan is “Metro Opens Doors”, it’s really ironic that one time, my commute took an extra 20 minutes because the doors would not open at a stop.

With all these plans to add an additional line going through Reston and onto Dulles Airport, there is NO WAY Metro can handle this. In my opinion, the Orange-Blue line in downtown DC is the crappiest line because the trains must alternate (between Blue and Orange) on the same track. It’s a headache at Rosslyn where the two train lines converge/diverge. Introducing a “Silver” line at West Falls Church forces Orange and Silver to alternate now between West Falls into DC! And also makes West Falls Church a headache as trains must merge in from Dunn Loring and the new Silver stations. Metro – improve your infrastructure before expanding!!

Implosion is the key here. It’ll be painful. (Actually really painful. Maybe implosion isn’t the best way…) But I’m convinced (in my completely non-expert opinion) that we need multiple train tracks in order to support the kind of ridership Metro currently has and wishes to continue to grow. You NEED an express train, like Vienna to Rosslyn or West Falls Church (and points westward) to Rosslyn. Oh, and you NEED a monthly pass! Charge a flat rate like NYC’s subway per trip or something. But GET ME A MONTHLY PASS! Because it’s freaking ridiculous to pay over $120 in metro fare each month. If you want to cater to the daily commuter, MONTHLY PASS!

So… #1 – Implode DC metro, #1b – Monthly Passes on Metro!